Enjoy reviewing some of the old emails. Please make any comments if you so desire! Tizku l'mitzvos!
Day 1: The Chofetz Chaim’s Introduction to Ahavas Chesed: Part 1
The Chofetz Chaim begins with a seemingly obvious, and yet extremely fundamental idea to the idea of Chesed. He tells us that Hashem is good, and does acts of kindness for His creations. He tells us as well that the reason for Chesed is because Hashem commands us to go in His ways, as the pasuk says, “All Hashem asks from you is to fear Him… and to go in His ways.” Our sages explain that the ways we are meant to follow Hashem are to act kindly and be merciful to others as Hashem is with His creations.
These ideas seem to be obvious and are certainly basic ideas, but what about them is so fundamental to the idea of Chesed? We have to remember something basic- Hashem is the master of all His creations and lacks nothing. If He gives to one person He is able to give the same to everyone else is the world. In other words the Chesed which Hashem performs does not leave Him lacking anything. If we are meant to copy and mimic Hashem in these ways, it must be that there are ways to do Chesed which do not leave us lacking anything as well. We can increase our acts of Chesed without having given up time, money, or anything.
The goal of today is to attempt to do recognize the acts of Chesed which are so readily available to us which do not leave us lacking anything.
Day 2: The Chofetz Chaim’s Introduction to Ahavas Chesed: Part 2
The Chofetz Chaim continues to explain that Chesed, along with its benefits to the people who have been helped, the person who performs the act of kindness as well benefits. He lists six benefits which are found in the Torah and Chazal for what happens in heaven as a result of a person doing something for someone else, among them being ridding one’s sins and lengthening one’s life.
The Chofetz Chaim makes the point of saying that it is according to the amount in which we make ourselves accustomed to performing acts of Chesed that we will receive all of the benefits Hashem has in store for us. It is not enough just to perform acts of kindness, rather we must accustom ourselves to thinking about doing Chesed and dealing with other people in the way a true kind person should.
To begin this process, we should all try to take ONE act of Chesed, big or small, and begin to accustom ourselves in performing it.
Day 3: Setting the Framework for the Mitzvah of Chesed: The Foreword of Ahavas Chesed: Part
1
The Chofetz Chaim brings the Talmudic passage that makes a fascinating insight into the importance of Chesed. We are told that the Torah begins and ends with acts of Chesed. Right after the sin of Adam and Chava, the Torah tells us that Hashem makes clothing for them. At the end of Devarim, we are told about the burial of Moshe Rabeinu which takes place right after his death, and the ensuing mourning period in his honor. Besides these acts of Chesed, says the Chofetz Chaim, there are many others throughout the Torah, which he records in the remaining part of this section of the book.
Before listing these other events the Chofetz Chaim outlines the two main categories of Chesed: Physical and Monetary acts of Chesed. Where is the mitzvah in the Torah to perform Chesed? We do not find an explicit commandment? How are we supposed to know about our obligation to give clothing to someone or to bury them? The Chofetz Chaim explains that the source for this mitzvah is what Rabbi Akiva referred to as a “Klal Gadol Batorah”, a general summation of many mitzvos which are found in the Torah. This mitzvah is of course “V’ohavta L’reiacha Kamocha”, loving one’s neighbor as oneself. It is a very logical idea: anything which I would want done for myself I should do everything in my power to do for another.
Now for today’s mission we will do exactly this. Think of at least one action that you would want done for you, and it can be anything at all. Next think of a person who would probably as well need this done and do it for them. Hatzlacha!
Day 4: Setting the Framework for the Mitzvah of Chesed: The Foreword of Ahavas Chesed: Part
2
One of the events which the Chofetz Chaim brings as an example of an act of Chesed is the account of Noach and his sons. The Torah tells us that after departing from the ark, Noach becomes inebriated and undresses himself. After seeing this, his sons, Shem and Yefes,take a blanket and while walking backwards, so as not to gaze at Noach in this embarrassing state, cover up their father. When Noachwakes up and realizes what has happened he blesses his children for this act of Chesed they have just committed. Due to the many lessons of Chesed which we can learn from this incident, we will spend a few days analyzing the actions of each party involved.
The first lesson which we can learn from Noach and his sons is that Chesed is important even to those who are closest to us. Sometimes we are made to think that Chesed is only to be done for someone on the outside and we forget about those who truly depend on us for the simplest things. Today’s mission will be to do an extra act of Chesed for someone in our immediate families. It should best be something which we do not normally do for this person. Hatzlacha!
Day 5: Noach and his Sons: Part 2
What would be our reaction if we saw a man lying in such a state that Shem and Yefes found their father? Surely we would like to assume that we would do the same. Yet we find that the Chofetz Chaim is praising Noach’s sons for this wonderful act which they did for him! Apparently Chesed can be something which we would do without thought.
Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, an 18th Century Jewish Philosopher, writes in the introduction to his masterpiece Mesilas Yesharim that in growth it is sometimes important to focus on basics because when something is basic its importance is sometimes not realized. This idea can especially be seen in our appreciation for the way the body works. It is not until something goes wrong that we begin to fully appreciate that our bodies have been controlled by small seemingly unnecessary actions. This is simply because we take for granted that which is done constantly.
If we are trying to change our perspective on how we approach something it would seem important to focus on simple basic ideas associated with this concept or idea. If we wanted to better appreciate how our bodies function we would likely do a study of the simple actions which allow us to get through our days.
Today’s mission will focus on this idea that many acts of Chesed are indeed obvious and simple deeds which we do probably without realizing. In order to change our perspective on Chesed we will need to put thought into a simple act that we would do anyways. Before we pour our spouse coffee, before we open the door for someone, or even before moving over to let someone pass by, stop and think to ourselves that this is something which can be viewed as an act of Chesed. The trick is to only think about it and not to verbalize that which you are doing so as not to make the other person feel like they are dependent on us. Hatzlacha!
Day 6: Noach and his Sons: Part 3
There is an old saying, “if you got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out of it”. This is a very appealing argument and sometimes it will be true that we are not obligated to help someone who has gotten themselves into trouble. In fact, sometimes helping someone when they do not deserve to be helped is actually damaging to their wellbeing!
Yet, there are times when even though a person caused themselves harm, it is another’s duty to do everything in their power to help them get back to normal. The incident with Noach and his sons is an example of such an act of Chesed. Noach is the one who becomes intoxicated and unclothed. Yet, his sons do not leave him there. They perform an act of Chesed to their father even though it was his own fault.
Today’s mission, find someone who has recently gotten themselves into a difficult situation, big or small and do them a favor. This favor could be directly related or completely unrelated to their current situation.
The following situation is an example: If you know of someone who might have gotten themselves in trouble with the law, there are many ways to help this person. One would be to take care of their kids so they have less stress on them while dealing with lawyers and other related activities. Another idea would be only if you are familiar with law or court procedures. You could take time and give them free advice on how to go about their case. But again, it does not have to be something so major. Trouble comes in all sizes and there are always many ways to help someone in need!
Day 7: One final look at Noach and his Sons
We many times forget that everyone, no matter how happy and content someone might seem, needs Chesed. Even someone who has nothing of which they are in need, there are still ways that one could do for this person.
After Noach rises from his intoxicated state, the Torah tells us that he has become aware of that which happened to him while he was sleeping. The Torah records that as reward for what his children did for him Noach blesses them.
This can be seen as well as an act of Chesed. Saying thank you to someone who has just done you a favor can go a long way for the person who is looking out for others. It makes a person feel appreciated and important and these feelings will only drive him to perform further acts of Chesed in the future.
Today’s mission: Think of someone who has recently done you a favor and contact them and say thank you. Even if you have already done so, call up and reiterate how appreciative you were for that which was done for you. You are helping yourself, the person who helped you, and anyone else who might be a recipient of another act of Chesed from this person in the future. This is really an act of “Olam Chesed Yiboneh”, building a world of Chesed!
After Noach rises from his intoxicated state, the Torah tells us that he has become aware of that which happened to him while he was sleeping. The Torah records that as reward for what his children did for him Noach blesses them.
This can be seen as well as an act of Chesed. Saying thank you to someone who has just done you a favor can go a long way for the person who is looking out for others. It makes a person feel appreciated and important and these feelings will only drive him to perform further acts of Chesed in the future.
Today’s mission: Think of someone who has recently done you a favor and contact them and say thank you. Even if you have already done so, call up and reiterate how appreciative you were for that which was done for you. You are helping yourself, the person who helped you, and anyone else who might be a recipient of another act of Chesed from this person in the future. This is really an act of “Olam Chesed Yiboneh”, building a world of Chesed!
Day 8: The Framework for the Mitzvah of Chesed: The Foreword of Ahavas Chesed
Avraham Avinu is known as the paradigm of the trait of Chesed. The Chofetz Chaim dedicates a great deal of space bringing examples of specific very important aspects of the middah of Chesed which Avraham Avinu exemplified. We will now spend a few days analyzing and learning from Avraham Avinu.
Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto writes in Mesilas Yesharim that the idea of zrizus, or the promptness to begin a mitzvah when it becomes available, is essential to the performance of every mitzvah that we perform. He explains that the Yetzer Harah, or the evil inclination, is always attempting to trap us is his nets in order to not only cause us to sin, but as well to prevent us from doing a mitzvah.
The Chofetz Chaim stresses Avraham Avinu’s zrizus in performing acts of Chesed. We find rat the beginning of Parshas VaYeira that Avraham Avinu is sitting in front of his tent waiting for guests, and when they become available, he runs right away in order to greet them. Without any hesitation, he grabs on to the ability to do Chesed.
Today’s Mission: Seek out an act of Chesed and when it becomes available do not hesitate to perform it. Please share with us if you felt differently about this act of Chesed than any others you had previously done!
Day 9: Avraham Avinu
The Talmud states regarding the mitzvah of Tzedakah, charity, “that one who causes others to perform is greater than performing”. How could this be true?
The commentaries explain that when one convinces others to do tzedakah he is putting his honor and respect on the line for the sake of the mitzvah being performed, and as the Talmud says in a number of places, one’s honor is dearer to him than his money. Any time we are in a situation where we need to correct someone’s ways or convince them to do a mitzvah, we are always faced with the embarrassment of having to stand up for what is right. When we put our honor on the line for a mitzvah we are showing Hashem that it is His honor that is most important, and how better to honor Hashem than to help out His children in a time of need. So we are accomplishing both- helping out another and showing tremendous honor to our Father in Heaven.
Avraham Avinu is praised by Hashem for being the one who will “command his children and his household to follow Hashem and act kindly towards others”. Of all the praises Hashem chooses, this is the one chosen as the reason for confiding in Avraham about the destruction of Sedom.
Today’s Mission: Think of someone who needs a Chesed done for them and convince someone else to do it for them. Hatzlacha!
Day 10: Avraham Avinu
The end of the pasuk regarding Avraham Avinu’s children also states how Avraham will teach his children about Mishpat. The Chofetz Chaim explains that this is the idea of being cautious about “infringing on someone else’s property or dignity even in the slightest way”. He also explains that a part of Chesed is being able to overcome one’s natural propensity to be rigid with other people- being fussy about the smallest infringement on one’s personal space.
The Chofetz Chaim brings the Talmudic passage which states that the Bais Hamikdash was destroyed because the Jewish people were following the strict letter of the law, and were not willing to bend when it came to doing for others. The Talmud tells us in another place that baseless hatred was as well a cause. Must be that these two ideas were connected and when we do not have the proper love and respect for another person we are not willing to something extra for them. In order to bring ourselves to care for others properly, we should be trying to not just be fulfilling our obligations- we should be trying to do something special.
The Rabeinu Yonah in Avos explains that this is as well why it is so important to keep the Rabbinic prohibitions which were instituted to safeguard us from transgressing something forbidden from the Torah. He explains that one who merely follows the strict letter of the law is showing that he is not truly afraid of transgression- rather trying to simply get away with whatever he can.
Today’s Mission: Do something extra for someone. Preferably, it should be someone who recently did something not to your liking and if such a person does not exist, just do something for someone close to you. Whether it is purchasing them a pastry from the bakery or an extra phone call to a friend, the smallest actions can strengthen a relationship. Hatzlacha!
Day 11: Avraham Avinu
The Chofetz Chaim explains that mishpat is the idea of being cautious about “infringing on someone else’s property or dignity even in the slightest way”. We know that a person’s dignity is more than simply a personal matter. There is a well known Gemorah which states that better to throw oneself into a fiery furnace than to embarrass someone publically, and many commentaries take this literally, equating embarrassing someone with idolatry, adultery, and murder!
The Netziv in the introduction to his commentary on Bereishis, Genesis, explains that the reason why our sages refer to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov as Yesharim, straight people, was due to the way they acted with the people around them, even those who were different from them. Our forefathers treated people with the proper respect which is deserving of being a child of Hashem, and we can assume that this was even under difficult conditions. Remember, our forefathers lived at a time when they were different than everyone around them. They rejected the world around them and formed a relationship with Hashem which would force them to remain somewhat distanced from everyone. Yet, they are praised for treating everyone properly, even under these conditions.
Today’s Mission: Look out for the dignity of someone you know. If you are presented with a situation which the conditions make it difficult to do so, conquer your desire to ignore the person’s dignity. This act will bring us one step closer to being called Yesharim.
Day 12: Avraham Avinu
One episode in which we find Avraham Avinu’s greatness is after Hashem tells him that He is going to destroy the city of Sdom. One normal reaction might have been elation. Sdom was everything Avraham stood against. They were immoral people who scorned those who did for others. Yet, we find the exact opposite reaction from Avraham. He pleads with Hashem to save them- davening that Hashem should have mercy on his children and spare them from destruction.
The Chofetz Chaim cites this as another example of Chesed. There are two lessons which we can take from here one of which will be relevant to today’s mission and the other one tomorrow’s.
Firstly, Avraham did Chesed for someone who was opposed to him. Although it might have been natural not to have done anything, Avraham went out of his way to try and do a major act of Chesed for those whom he did not see eye to eye. This is sometimes an extremely difficult thing to do. The Gemorah actually tells us that when one has two Chesed opportunities presented to him, one for an enemy and one for a friend, he should do the Chesed for his enemy in order to change his feelings toward him.
Today’s Mission: Do exactly the above. Think of someone with who you have recently had difficulties, big or small, and do them a favor. It might be easier to do something they do not know about, but if you are up for the challenge try calling and ask if they need anything. You will begin to see the power of Chesed change the way you feel about what has recently happened. Hatzlacha!
Day 13: Avraham Avinu: Conclusion
Finally, we see that Tefillah, davening on someone else’s behalf, is considered an act of Chesed. We have many opportunities to daven for people and we do not need to look far to see those who are in need of any extra Tefillos. We should strive to seize as many of these opportunities as possible, whether through saying extra Tehillim or davening for them in Shema Koleinu.
Today’s Mission: After reading today’s email, take as much time as you can and say some Tehillim for Meira. We once again ask Hashem to show His mercy and grant her a Refuah Sheleimah B’soch Shaar Cholei Yisroel!
Day 14: Yosef Hatzadik
The Chofetz Chaim cites the conversation between Yosef Hatzadik and the head butler in King Paraoh’s house as an example of Chesed. At the end of Yosef interpreting the butler’s dreams, Yosef asks the butler to remember him and tell Paraoh about the nice Jewish boy who was with him in prison, in order that Yosef might be able to leave.
The Chofetz Chaim says that telling a person something nice about another person is certainly an act of Chesed. Many times we find someone who might be in need of a job, Shidduch, Chavrusa, or other position and it might take someone influencing words for them to get a “foot in the door”. We all have our connections, and we should always strive to use them for someone who is in need.
Today’s Mission: Think of someone who is in a position of need of which you have a connection to help them. Make an effort to help this person out by making a phone call and putting in a good word for them. BEWARE, however, of speaking to someone who has had negative experience with the person you are calling about due to the extremely complicated Halachos of Lashon Harah, negative speech, which come into play. If a question of Lashon Harah is presented, contact local Rabbinic Authorities about the proper procedure. Every extra effort made to help someone is an act of Chesed, so do not shy away from making such a phone call.Hatzlacha!
Day 15: Yosef Hatzadik
After the Torah records the travels of Yaakov and his sons down to Egypt, the Torah returns to the discussion of Yosef Hatzadik in his position as the Viceroy of Egypt. The Torah dedicates a number of verses to the dialogue between the Egyptians and Yosef, and the plan which Yosef would carry out to save them from hunger.
The Chofetz Chaim explains that Yosef once again was performing Chesed for the Egpytians due to the fact that he was saving their lives. Granted this is a great deed that Yosef did, but we have to remember one very important point: Yosef was hired by Paraoh to do what he did. It was not as if he dropped everything he was doing to save thousands of people. He was pulled out of prison and made second in command of the strongest country of that point in history. Yet the Chofetz Chaim is telling us that this is Chesed?
The story is told about a Pharmacist who lived in the Chofetz Chaim’s town, Radin. Once he was visited by the great Torah scholar. The Chofetz Chaim ran up to him, gave him a big hug, and asked him for a blessing. The Pharmacist responded that he is barely a learned man so how could it be possible that this great giant of the generation would request a blessing from him?
The Chofetz Chaim responded to the man, “You really must put more thought into what you are doing! Granted you survive off the income you make from your store, but you must also remember that you are saving lives every day! It is because of this that I request a blessing from you!”
The message is clear. It is not always what we are doing but many times the thought behind it. Yosef took his position very seriously, doing it for more than just the fact it was a job. He saw the deeper meaning behind it and that was the fuel to his daily fire.
Today’s Mission: Think about the daily activities we do and how they help others. Try to use this as fuel when the things are slow and there is little desire to continue. Hatzlacha!
Day 16:
The Torah tells us that after Moshe Rabeinu grows up he takes a walk to “see in their (The Jewish People’s) affliction”. The Chofetz Chaim explains that being able to look at another person who is suffering, attempting to feel their pain, is an act of Chesed.
This idea is what our Sages refer to as being Nosei B’Ol im Chaveiro, literally carrying in the burden that our friend is carrying. R’ Shlomo Wolbe zt”l points out that of all traits of Hashem that our sages point out during the giving of the Torah, we are told that Hashem was in pain when we were enslaved in Egypt and now that we are receiving the Torah, He was joining in our joy. From here Rav Wolbe brings to the surface the importance of being Nosei B’Ol im Chaveiro.
But he says it really is two ideas. Not only should we try to feel in ones pain but we should as well strive to join in on their happiness. He tells the story of Rav Avraham Grodzinsky zt”l who was once visiting family in Warsaw and in the middle of their meeting looked at his watch and stood up to dance and sing. When asked why he was doing this, Rav Avraham explained that currently back in Slobodka one of his close students was getting married and he wanted to share in his simcha!
Today’s Mission: Rav Wolbe says this is something which could take lots of time to work on. We will try to start by simply thinking about two people: one who is in a very difficult situation and try to imagine their pain or the pain of other’s around them. Secondly, think of a person who is about to celebrate a happy occasion and think how you would feel if this were you. Hatzlacha!
